Hello ladies and gents. I know the first thing you are probably thinking is "what the hell?" I know. But this one is good to spark up conversation with friends and even with some relatives.
For the life of me, I just can't seem to understand how a certain number of men will hook up with a female, date her, and then dump her for someone else. And in some cases string her along while dating someone else whom he feels is "the one". I find that to be real f*cked up on the part of a man. Of course I could see if a guy dated a hoe, and then let her go to be with someone good, but some guys are doing the complete opposite. Is this the thing to do? Is dumping a good woman for a hoe or a harem the new thing these days?
What type of things constitute a woman being good enough to f*ck, but not good enough to marry? I'm pretty sure there could be a number of reasons for different men, but for the most part what particular action or means of dialogue determines that? There are some women out here whom happen to be baby mamas to a guy who has more than one child. He will leave one that has done more for him than his own family, but will wife another that barely knows him from way back when. WHY? I would have thought that most men would do the sensible thing by wifing the one baby mama that's been down for the cause, but I guess that logic doesn't work too well for them. Yes, human nature has a way of doing crazy shit to people's brains by having them fall in love with someone they barely know instead of the one person that knows them well and looks out for their better interest.
In my honest and straightforward opinion (I know I will get some sort of backlash for this), men need to carefully evaluate the kind of women they sleep with. Reason being, because if they know they aren't trying to wife a certain young lady, why carry on such a demeanor with her if she's not good enough to marry? Better than that: WHY NOT BE HONEST ENOUGH WITH HER AND STATE THEIR INTENTIONS OFF THE BAT, AND LEAVE HER THE OPTION TO DECIDE IF SHE WANTS TO BE BOTHERED WITH THE GUY? Just like in Steve Harvey's book 'Act like a Lady, Think like a Man', he mentions early on in the book that men have a plan when they first meet a woman. Whether it is sex, marriage, dating, whatever, men still have a plan. And within that plan, there are certain tactics and strategies men will go about using on a woman without her knowing of it until either the next calculated step in the process of his plan or when she's dumped and proceeded by another woman.
In closing, men and women need to have some sort of STRAIGHTFORWARD communication, period. None of the male lingo, none of the female lingo, just some sort of communiqué where both parties understand each other. Fellas, save yourselves the trouble of being with a female and then doing her the disservice of not marrying her. I'm not saying settle for the first girl you meet and all, but don't go off sleeping with her getting her emotions all wrapped up in you and then discarding her like yesterday's trash. And for the fellas with six million baby mamas, Y'ALL NEED TO BE TARRED AND FEATHERED! Stop leading on these women into thinking that because you have a child with them, you will marry them off the bat. STOP. All you are doing is causing more harm than good when you are telling one baby mama after another that you will marry them when that's not the case at all. Men: find a woman that's good enough to marry and not good enough to screw. You save yourself the hassle of dealing with hell in the long haul.
Until next post,
Peace & Blessings,
Untouched Jewel
6 comments:
"Tarred and Feathered" ha ha.. people are still doing that??? ha ha ha. I think if women (not all women but some) carried themselves in a manner that lets a man know that they are serious. You could cut down on the foolishness. Men are only reacting to the vibe that women put out. How many times have you had a friend or knew a girl that slept with a guy on the first date. After that it's a wrap. How a woman acts in the beginning stages of a relationship can determine whether they are wife material or just a saturday night special. Don't get me wrong because having sex with different women and making 10's of thousands of babies isn't cool. Men have to man up for that but can't some of these ladies see these guys coming a mile away. Some men are just no damn good and someone had to have seen that coming. Women have so much power that they refuse to use.
Tis the way of life. I mean here is an even crazier thought, why are the women allowing themselves to be used in that manner? I know if I approach a female and say, hey all I would like to do is have sexual relations w/ no means of a relationship. She's gonna give me the NEGRO PLEASE look and go on about her business.
Well there are a couple of things to consider. Of course as you said, men don't want to marry every woman we screw. So unless a man (or anyone for that matter) is expected to only screw someone they have intentions of marrying using that standard won't work. It would probably cut down on infectious diseases and unwed parents but idealism doesn't always prevail.
Secondly, straight forward communication also doesn't always work. You've heard the saying, can't change the rules in the 9th inning (paraphrased of course) well some women agree with the "arrangement" when fully disclosed and then switch up. Fact is as Steve Harvey's book states, sex and love are not intertwined for men, however marriage and love are (or should be). It makes sense that a man can pursue one (sex) without the other (marriage [and love]). Sometimes we're amazed at how things go down because we KNOW we aren't even remotely acting in a way to give off the impression of wanting to marry a woman we may be screwing...and I also think it's unrealistic to have that expectation that because we are screwing it equates to wanting to be married.
To avoid being (more) wordy...I'll end it there...
Miss Untouched Jewel, I noticed a reply of yours on another blog. You have much to say on the issues of relationships and what men "should" do. I wrote a couple of posts on this same subject. That is why I am responding to this one.
The posts: "Ladies please" & "playin ain't playin" ...there in March.
Oh ...btw, I read your reply to Zack that talked about men crying. Again, I just visited that same topic 2 days ago "Daddy's Little Girl". also check it out when you have time ...you were right about a few things.
I couldn't believe how we were on this same vibe. Not always on the same street but in the same area.
Your thoughts will be interesting and requested.
u know honestly, i think it goes both ways for men and women - many women as do men will fck something they wont take around their parents
Thank you men for your comments.
@Citizen Ojo: the key word you just mentioned right there is IF. However, alot of men aren't going for the chick that's GONNA DO what it takes to carry themselves in that kind of manner. A lot of men are waiting to see how far they can get and when once that's accomplished, how often they get it their way.
@ Mr. Gwumpeeh: Hate to say this, but men are like dogs: they can smell fear or weakness. And when they do, they pounce on that shit like nobody's business. When a man sees that a woman is weak, he will use that to his advantage until he's tired of using her and move on to something better.
@ Mr. A: Communication CAN work if two people are willing to work at it. Yes, there are some women out there who do switch the game up and it backfires on them...STUPID. I understand that men don't equate love with sex, but when a man doesn't state that off the bat, it gets women misconstrued with the vibe men give off. See, women (I guess you can say) DO equate love with sex, because in our minds sex is an act of "love-making" thus in turn intertwining the two together. So back to what I was originally trying to point out: COMMUNICATION IS KEY.
@ Carey Carey: Thanks.
@ All-Mi-T: True, but it's not always the case with women as it is men.
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