Ok, so my oldest son's father and I met in college years ago and the rest had been history once I became pregnant with our son, who will be 15 this summer. Fast forward, oh about 12 years later, word gets back to me that he ends up knocking up another victim....I mean....young woman. LOL. Another boy is brought into the world. Fast forward again almost two years later......now his new boo thang is pregnant. But get this......WITH TWINS! *cues in scary movie music*
I just find it funny (not in the comical sense of funny) that the man who walked out of my life leaving me pregnant with our son to raise alone is now feeling the ramifications of what we nowadays call Karma. And right about now, that bitch is whoopin his ass somethin fierce. SMH. There is a saying that my grandma always says: "Praise the bridge that carries you safely across." In other words, don't be showin your ass towards those who can be of some sort of help to you one day in life.
In all honesty and sincerity when I say this....I never wanted my son's father to be anything more than what he needed to be.....A FATHER TO HIS CHILD. I haven't asked for a dime from this guy, but to acknowledge and accept that he has a son who needs him and needs to know who he is. But I came to the realization some time ago that he is gonna be and continuing to be who he is whether he wants to accept that into his life or not. I washed my hands of him and continued to be the parent that was gonna love and care for our son no matter what.
As far as he is concerned, I have a deep sense of sadness for him. For a man who will be 35 with 4 kids in and still won't be worth a dime with a hole cut in it, I find that to be tragic. Sure he's not the only deadbeat dad walkin this earth right now. But had I known he was gonna continue to reproduce more children after my son, I shoulda seen the pattern continue. I wish no ill will on him or anyone connected to him. I just wish that he would get his head out of the clouds and grasp the reality that he is now a father of 4 at a young enough age and he's not showing for any of it as a father at all.
I know I would be one to talk or give advice, but better from me than someone who don't know what the hell childbirth or raising babies consist of. Ladies, we have to do better in the choices we make in laying with the opposite sex. I'll do one better: we need to do better in discerning the company we keep. If there is a red flag that is waving and damn near about to knock us over the head, it's high time we pay attention to it. There are far too many of us calling ourselves giving raggedy ass dudes a chance (no matter how decent or shitty he looks) and end up on the shit end of the situation when real life kicks in. If we claim we want better, we gotta put ourselves in the position to want better. In my case, my raggedy ass dude just happen to be wrapped with a shiny bow and window dressing in the form of a college education to cover up the hidden truth. I didn't discern the kind of person he was, because I was too busy ogling over the fact that I was dealing with a college guy and was intrigued by his big college talk and Chicago game he ran on me. If I knew then what I know now, my beautiful son wouldn't even be here. He's the one blessing that came from a terrible situation. I wouldn't trade being his mother for nothing in the world. I love him for life.
One thing is certain....I will pray for my son's father, because he's about to catch hell and high water with all these kids he's gotta take care of. God forbid the child support. SMH.
Until Next Post,
Fingaz & Blessins,
Untouched Jewel
(your friendly neighborhood blogger. lol)
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