ATTENTION ALL BABY MAMAS AND BABY DADDIES.....

Hello ladies and gents. Today I want to talk about a topic that truly weighs heavy on me, and those of us whom are parents out of wedlock (aka baby mamas and baby daddies) have at some point been guilty of doing the very thing I want to talk about.

Today I was talking to my son's youngest father about bm's/bd's whom at some point fall out with the other parent, and start getting "diarrhea of the mouth" about them and all the reasons why they don't like them. So much so to where other ears are listening to what comes out of the parent's mouth (i.e. the children involved). I first would like to say that in partaking in this kind of activity around your children is dead wrong for these reasons:

1. IT ONLY LEADS TO TROUBLE.

2. You give your kids a very skewed perception of how they view the other parent in their eyes.

3. Once the children get older and finally take it upon themselves to find out what's really the deal between the two parents, they know how to put two and two together to make four, which in turn makes you look just as bad for talking about the other parent in front of them.

I can honestly and safely say that I haven't and never will talk bad about the father(s) of my children, because of whatever reason I don't like them or harbor some sort of hatred toward them. When I gave birth to my first born, his father wasn't around. And I made a promise to myself that I would never talk bad or demean his father in front of him (regardless of the circumstances). I firsthand had experienced that growing up in a single-parent household, and it gave me a bit of a skewed perception of how I viewed my father as my father. I wanted to know for myself just what type of parent my father was without the f*cked up opinion of what my mother thought of him. A bigger part of what type of person I knew my father was had been through someone else's opinion of him based on their experience, and that was bad for me.

For those of you whom are bm's and bd's, DO NOT TALK SH*T ABOUT THE OTHER PARENT TO YOUR CHILDREN, NO MATTER HOW F*CKED UP THEY TRULY ARE. LET YOUR CHILDREN SEE THIS FOR THEMSELVES! THERE ARE TOO MANY CHILDREN WHOM ARE VIEWING THEIR PARENTS THROUGH THE EYES OF THE OTHER PARENT WHO HAS A PROBLEM WITH THEM, AND IT'S HORRIBLE TO DO THAT TO A CHILD. Children are innocent little souls whom want nothing more or less to be loved and appreciated by BOTH parents. If a child can't see the other parent for who they are (good, bad or indifferent), what you say to them or around them can leave psychological scars on them for the rest of their lives and never see the other parent the same way.

One thing I truly can't stand is when the mothers will use children as leverage to keep them away from their fathers. In case y'all didn't know: CHILDREN NEED THEIR FATHERS, PERIOD. More than 70% of the children in this country grow up in single-parent households. Something is truly wrong with those numbers! Yes, I know my own children count as those 70+%. Sure enough at the time we were with what we considered the person to be was our 's.o.', but for our children to suffer with the backlash of our failed relationships and misguided decisions is ridiculous.

All you baby mamas out there in the world: BE BETTER EXAMPLES TO YOUR CHILDREN BY KEEPING YOUR MOUTH SHUT ABOUT THEIR DADDY/FATHER (WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CONSIDER THAT PERSON). All you baby daddies: START MAKING BETTER DECISIONS ABOUT THE WOMEN YOU LAY DOWN WITH. IF YOU KNEW THAT FEMALE WASN'T ABOUT SH*T BEFORE MAKING A BABY, THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU ULTIMATE INDICATOR THAT SHE WAS GONNA DO YOU THE WAY SHE DID YOU ONCE THE TWO OF YOU WERE NO LONGER TOGETHER AND KIDS CAME INTO THE PICTURE. BE MORE WISE. Same thing goes for baby mamas, too! If you knew that dude wasn't trying to be responsible for nobody but himself (if he could do a good job of that), YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT HIS ASS ALONE.

I'm not trying to be on a soapbox trying to preach to the rest of the world, but our children are in dire situations right now. THIS SH*T HAS TO STOP! More of our daughters and sons are just babies having babies. We need to teach our children to either protect themselves when they decide to have sex, or abstain altogether. Better than that, just be the example that participating in adult activities leads to adult responsibilities. I learned that lesson when I gave birth to my first child at 19. I had to step to the learning curve quickly and realize that bringing life in this world ain't no cake walk. GET MARRIED FIRST BEFORE HAVING CHILDREN. YOU WOULD SAVE YOURSELF THE TIME AND HASSLE OF BEING OR DEALING WITH A BABY MAMA OR BABY DADDY. STOP BECOMING THE STATISTIC, AND LEARN TO BEAT THE ODDS.

And if you have friends who are bm's/bd's, and they are talking sh*t in front of the children about the other parent, refer them to this post. If you can't do that, check them on it. And if you are someone you know is doing f*cked up sh*t like using your children as leverage to keep them from the other parent: SHAME ON YOU! How can you call yourself a parent (let alone an adult) by keeping children from the key people they need most in their lives? All I can say is don't be mad when your child is a parent in jr. high school, or shying away from parental responsibilities to their children. Just remember: THEY LEARNED IT FROM YOU.

Until the next post,
Peace & Blessings,
Untouched Jewel